


Special Instructions

by Lafayesss



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M, Oops, all of my ao3 fics are about real people, attempt at good writing, attempts, banghim but only a lil bit, first b.a.p fic, haha remember when i said i'd never write fics about real people, i'm not funny or good at fluff or smut, jonglo offscreen, kill me, pizza boy!youngjae au, probably a lot of sucky characterization, surprise surprise past me, these are all attempts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lafayesss/pseuds/Lafayesss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m so hungover in bed right now. Just come in. The door’s unlocked. Go down the hall and to the first door on the left. I’ll tip you everything I have in my wallet that aren’t condoms and gum wrappers.”</p><p>Daehyun’s lucky his delivery boy wasn’t a serial killer or something.</p><p>Inspired by that one meme where someone put similar special instructions and the delivery person actually did it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Special Instructions

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote a B.A.P fic... 
> 
> Apologies to anyone who's followed me for Hamilton stuff because Hamilton & B.A.P are my two favorite things right now and they have like no overlap so...yeah. 
> 
> I've been reading a lot of DaeJae.  
> That's basically how all my fic writing starts. I get inspired by good writing &frustrated when my favorite stories are un-updated. So I write to fill the void.
> 
> Also because exams are coming up, so the logical thing to do is avoid all obligations.

 

 Youngjae usually didn’t do special instruction deliveries. That was Junhong or Jongup’s job. But they were both out today—a suspicious coincidence. Himchan bet Youngjae twenty bucks they finally did the deed after months of cute tension and dancing around (literally and figuratively), a bet Youngjae didn’t take because his hyung was probably right and Youngjae was running out of money faster than he could deliver pizzas. With the two lovebirds out, Himchan at the register, and Yongguk making the pizzas, the responsibility fell on Youngjae to fulfill any and all of the freaky special directions people had that day. He’d seen Junhong take on some real disturbing ones. Wonderful.

Thankfully, it was a slow Monday. Most of the traffic would come to the restaurant itself, and Youngjae settled for lounging comfortably on a stool beside Himchan as he waited for a run.

“Keep your feet down,” Himchan hissed disapprovingly, swatting Youngjae’s impeccably white sneakers away from the counter. “You know how Yongguk is about sanitation. He’ll have your head.”

“Not if you don’t tell him,” Youngjae shot back cheekily, ducking low before Himchan could smack him. The older man rolled his eyes and turned back to the register as a few customers trickled in. He turned on his winning smile and professionalism, leaving Youngjae to twiddle his thumbs and slump against the wall, waiting for a job to come in on the monitor beside him.

He was dozing off a bit when his beeper sounded, jolting him awake. The monitor displayed an order, a last name, and an address, and the cursor blinked twice before spitting out the special instructions:

“I’m so hungover in bed right now. Just come in. The door’s unlocked. Go down the hall and to the first door on the left. I’ll tip you everything I have in my wallet that aren’t condoms and gum wrappers.”

Youngjae raised an eyebrow, whistling low and nudging Himchan’s butt with his shoe. Himchan jumped slightly but made no noise, as he was trying to take an order. When the customers left, he spun around with narrowed eyes. Before he could say a word, Youngjae tapped the screen. “Looks like someone’s having a bad day,” he drawled with a sigh. “Incredible how careless and lazy some people are. He’s lucky I’m not a serial killer, or something.”

Himchan scoffed. “With twig arms like those, you couldn’t be one if you tried.” Youngjae made an indignant noise, but he probably deserved the jab. Huffing, he crossed his precious—and decently muscular—arms and went to the kitchen to relay the order to Yongguk.

 

* * *

 

 

The house was easy enough to find. It stood out garishly in the quiet suburban court, with tired neon streamers and glittery remnants of a party strewn limply all over the lawn and driveway. The owner knew how to have a good time, it seemed.

As the instructions had promised, the door was unlocked. Youngjae figured the partygoers from the night before had carelessly left it so, as he assumed the hungover homeowner wouldn’t have gotten out of bed just to unlock it. His opinion of the mysterious customer was sinking by the minute.

When he entered the house, he had to admit, the architecture was breathtaking. The ceilings looked higher than they had appeared outside, and despite the littering of cups and spilled food burying the hardwood floor, it was still a beautiful sight. If the homeowner had so much bank, Youngjae hoped he had at least a tenth of that amount in his wallet to tip.

He took out his phone to check the instructions again, half entertaining the thought of wandering around for a bit of sightseeing before going straight to the bedroom. He ultimately decided against it, deeming it too risky lest he got lost and died in a walk-in closet or something.

Making his way to the bedroom, Youngjae gingerly stepped over articles of clothing, many too intimate for his liking. He wanted to get in and get out before the house swallowed him whole and took all his clothes, too. When he arrived before the bedroom door, he contemplated a soft entry in consideration for the poor hungover customer. But then he checked his watch and realized just how much time the special instructions had taken him to complete, time he could have spent running other jobs that undoubtedly were piling up back at the restaurant. Junhong and Jongup should have clocked in by now, and were likely handling the load he couldn’t take. He wistfully thought of all the tips he was missing out on—tips from _normal_ deliveries with none of these hoops to jump through. Plus, judging by the décor, the homeowner seemed like a rich prick that the neighbors would hate. So he did the thing that came most naturally to him. He took petty and passive aggressive revenge, and made life harder for everyone.

“Special delivery for a Mister Jung!” Youngjae all but screamed, banging the door open and letting harsh light flood the dim room. Immediately, a loud, disturbed groan came from the tangled sheets in response. There was a rustle of movement, some more tortured noises, and then, as if from the dead, a man slowly sat up and squinted at the delivery boy. A naked man, to be precise.

Youngjae felt the tips of his ears warm up, and his eyes didn’t know where to go. He didn’t usually have a problem with naked men, but this guy was, as reluctant as he was to admit it, pretty damn hot. His bedhead and smeared eyeliner—which made Youngjae raise an eyebrow mentally. Guyliner?—only enhanced his natural attractiveness. He had the body to be a surfer, all tanned skin and lean muscle, but something (maybe it was the party balloons in the corner of the room) told Youngjae that the man had hardly worked a day in his life.

So, yeah, maybe he was extremely, unexpectedly, and annoyingly handsome. And, yes, maybe Youngjae stared at the guy’s face and jawline and bare chest for a good minute or two before the man in question cleared his throat rather amusedly. Mentally, Youngjae scowled. He looked way too smug for a hungover hot mess.

After another minute passed, the man in the bed motioned for the pizza, a tired but cocky smile tugging at his impossibly full lips. Youngjae swallowed hard. “Ah, yes. Your delivery.” He tried to keep his eyes on the floor, telling himself he needed all his concentration to navigate the mess and reach the bed. It was actually a horrible idea, though, because by the time his feet hit the bed frame and he looked up, he was much, much closer to the man than anticipated. The man—Daehyun, Youngjae’s mind supplied. There had been a nametag on a dress shirt somewhere on the ground. Somewhere…—was watching him with curved, smiling eyes, and Youngjae hated the way his lungs failed him. He broke eye contact and set the pizza down on the nightstand, turning sharply on his heel to leave as quickly as he could when Daehyun called out.

“Hey, wait,” he murmured, voice low and unfairly smooth despite just waking up. Youngjae stiffened but didn’t turn. “Don’t you want your tip?”

 _Not really,_ Youngjae thought. _Not if it means I have to stay here a minute longer._ He loathed whatever feeling was making his gut churn at the moment. He closed his eyes, exhaling and counting to three to try to slow his wild pulse. Turning back around, he reminded himself that he needed the money. Any money he could get. And it wasn’t every day that a rich (hot) guy ordered pizza from the small family shop. He needed it for school. He needed it for school.

While Youngjae repeated his mantra, Daehyun searched the tangled sheets for his wallet. He shifted around enough for Youngjae to note that the homeowner was not, in fact, completely naked. Briefs. Huh. He would’ve pinned him as a boxers kind of rich prick. Not that he cared. Or was complaining. Youngjae couldn’t really help himself from letting his eyes roam as the search for the wallet continued. He reasoned that he was looking for it, too, but really, he was taking in every inch of tanned skin he could see, and idly imagining the rest.

Without looking up, Daehyun asked, “Enjoying the show?”

Youngjae jumped. Blinked once, twice. Flushed crimson and felt his chest constrict. God _damn it,_ this prick was making him out to be a downright idiot. It wasn’t Youngjae’s fault. It was the other man’s. For being so…attractive. “I’m—I was looking for the wallet,” he squeaked, mentally groaning at his pathetic response. Daehyun hummed, nodding but clearly unconvinced.

“Of course,” he smiled. His hands still patted at the pillows and sheets, and he glanced over at the piles of clothes on the floor, but he was searching much slower now. Turning his attention to Youngjae, he cocked his head. “And what was that you were murmuring, earlier? What do you need for school?”

Shit. Of course he’d been saying it out loud. Of course everything that could humiliate him _was_ humiliating him. “The money,” Youngjae blurted out. “I’m a student. Senior year of college, at a university in the city. I’m majoring in music and minoring in computer science.” He stopped himself before he divulged his social security number and the name of his first childhood pet, too. _Pabo, pabo, pabo!_ he berated himself. Daehyun just smiled wider.

“Cute,” he chuckled, though Youngjae didn’t have much time to react to the compliment before Daehyun’s eyes widened. “Aha!” he exclaimed, victoriously untangling his hands from the sheets to reveal a brand-name leather wallet. He glanced at Youngjae with a glint in his eye, then secretively turned away to check the wallet’s contents without the delivery boy seeing.

“Hey! You said you’d tip me everything in it!” Youngjae protested, though with much less indignance and much more whininess than he had planned.

Daehyun grinned at his childish tone. “And I _will,_ pretty boy. But you gotta close your eyes and hold out your hands,” he instructed, suddenly solemn. When Youngjae frowned, Daehyun sighed. “Come on, you’re no fun. Don’t you trust me?”

 _Uh, no, not really,_ Youngjae wanted to say. But he obliged with a huff, knowing there was probably no harm. He _really_ needed to ask for a raise at work before he started selling his body or something. This was bordering on ridiculous.

Holding out his hands, Youngjae felt warm, rough fingers tracing ticklish circles on his palms. “What are you—” he began before something plastic hit his hands. His fingers closed around the object, and his frown deepened. He opened his eyes. A condom. Size small. “What the _hell—_ ”

Before he could finish his sentence, Daehyun was pulling him by the collar into the warm, king-sized bed. His lips pressed hotly and insistently on Youngjae’s, letting him up for air just enough so that he would only be left more breathless. His hands worked deftly to unbutton Youngjae’s shirt, and he smiled against the younger man’s mouth when he felt hands tangle themselves in his hair.

A million thoughts cluttered Youngjae’s mind, most of which were along the lines of _what the fuck am I doing_ , though one was about how Daehyun’s cologne smelled sweet and intoxicating, and another was about what a great ass he had. By the time any of them reached his mouth to be voiced, they were incoherent moans that Daehyun easily swallowed in deep kisses. Hands tugged off Youngjae’s clothes, his or Daehyun’s, he wasn’t entirely sure.

He pinned Daehyun down, which made the man in question grin, and they exchanged touches and kisses until Daehyun pressed the condom in Youngjae’s palm again and muttered, “ _Come on_.”

Youngjae was gasping but had enough thrill built up in his chest to sass him breathily. Glancing at the condom, he shook his head. “Sorry, there’s a problem,” he murmured, satisfaction making him smirk when Daehyun raised a quizzical brow. “This is a small. That’s not gonna work.”

Daehyun made a noise somewhere between a choke and a snort, and Youngjae laughed freely, feeling the vibrations of their laughter in each other’s chest. It felt good. Just being near this perfect stranger felt good. Of course, it didn’t feel nearly as good as what followed.

 

* * *

 

“Here’s your tip,” Daehyun breathed, dragging a wad of cash lazily around on Youngjae’s bare chest.

“It’s official,” Youngjae exhaled. He watched the money but made no move to take it. “I’m selling my body to put myself through college.”

Daehyun snorted, throwing the cash onto the nightstand. He pulled the other man close enough that, even in the falling darkness, he could see every detail of his flawless features. “Only to me, though,” he whispered lowly, smirking when he felt Youngjae swallow hard. “Keep coming with the pizzas, and I’ll top every tip I give.”

Youngjae’s mouth turned dry as he tried and failed to respond, but Daehyun fixed it with a long, dizzying kiss. Voice hoarse, Youngjae whispered drowsily against Daehyun’s warm skin, “I can do that.”

 

* * *

 

 

“When that kid comes back I am going to _disembowel—_ ”

“Himchan,” Yongguk sighed, wiping his forehead but only succeeding in spreading the streak of flour on his skin. “Give the poor kid a break.”

“A break?” Himchan screeched, his fingers clenching at the apron he didn’t need to wear but wore anyway because it matched Yongguk’s. “He’s been gone for _hours_ on _one delivery_ and Junhong and Jongup are still MIA and we’ve missed like _twenty orders_ —”

Yongguk’s hands made their way to Himchan’s shoulders, kneading away the tension as he leaned his head against the other man’s. “Himchan, I’m tired,” he muttered, and he was. Too tired to do anything but give in to the one thing that would calm Himchan down for sure. “Let’s close up early.”

“I swear I’m gonna—what?” Himchan perked up, turning to Yongguk. “Close up early?” He wondered if he’d heard right, but Yongguk made no move to say otherwise. “You haven’t closed this shop up early in what, five years?” If this was going where he hoped it was going, the three missing employees could set fire to the Empire State Building for all he cared.

Yongguk nodded solemnly, but there was a sly look on his face. “Six years,” he corrected, dark eyes glinting. “But I think we’re both in need of some stress relief. And I don’t think it’s fair to let the kids have all the fun tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this~ 
> 
> If anyone's looking for good DaeJae, I have a few favorite authors that I just discovered and whose fics I've devoured in record time...:
> 
> jezzberry (hard to pick a favorite but maybe "and i think you're beautiful"??)  
> lunacrowne ("Troublemaker" is my favorite of theirs like *0*)  
> eunaosou ("rope in the open sea" and "HOLD" are lovely af)
> 
> EDIT: I just found a new & extreeeemely beautiful DaeJae fic and it's andnowforyaya's "the matchmaker."
> 
> Go read these and come back and we can gush over the wonderful writing together do it. 
> 
> kbye thanks for reading <3


End file.
